Message in a Bottle
by Dabbled-at-Euchre
Summary: Gilligan finds an old message. The castaways explore then Gilligan dreams. Set about a year after season 3. One shot.


In the morning the skipper and Gilligan worked on patching the roof of the supply hut. After lunch they took turns chopping up a fallen tree for firewood. Then Gilligan picked up his pole and went fishing. The Skipper watched him leave, figuring he'd bossed his little buddy around enough that day and Gilligan was ready for some alone time.

When they were sitting around about to eat dinner Gilligan returned. The skipper asked "Did you catch anything?"

He replied "Yeah, I caught a message in a bottle. It's from seven unlucky people stranded on an island 250 miles south of Hawaii."

"Gilligan. Did you find one of our old messages for help again?"

"No. This is from the passengers and crew of the Goldfish."

Everyone became curious.

The professor read the note aloud.

"S. S. Goldfish captured October 2 1917." Then he added "Why that was during World War One." He returned to reading. "Single funneled Norwegian tramp steamer turned out to be disguised German warship Raven. Seven of us, passengers and crew stranded on island October 9. Living in caves and awaiting rescue."

The rest of the paper showed maps of an island they were already very familiar with, showing both its' location in the Pacific and a brief sketch of the island itself. (Although the Skipper and the Professor looked at it carefully and pointed out the shape was off, as if the other castaways had written the note before fully exploring the island.) The Goldfish's castaways were shown on the opposite side of the island from where the Minnow's castaways lived.

That night they sat around the fire and the Skipper told sea stories he's heard of German World War One raiders.

"The real cruisers like the Emden and the Konigsberg, needed too much coal for raiding work. Having no German Ports around, they needed to replenish off captured ships or they'd run out.

The successful follow up raiders, like the Mowe and the Wolf were built as merchant ships, they needed less coal and could easily disguise themselves. The Seeadler was even a sailing vessel, although with an engine for maneuvering."

The professor made mental graphs of coal consumption vs. the expected ability to get coal off captured ships. He lasted 10 whole minutes before getting his mental calculations confused.

Meanwhile, the skipper shifted from discussing coal to discussing what it was like to be aboard an unsuspecting ship when suddenly the friendly seeming vessel near you raises the German flag.

Thurston Howell winced as the skipper described the fate of most of the captured vessels. Looted of anything useful then simply sunk, their value as shipping destroyed. Howell muttered about "savages." His wife inched nearer him, hoping to cheer him up.

The skipper went on to describe life on a raider. Simultaneously hunter and hunted, traveling thousands of leagues, relying on wits and disguise to get through the mission, needing to get coal and food off captures.

Ginger wondered if Hollywood should have made a movie "With a lonely, hunted German Captain and the bewitching lady passenger he's captured."

Gilligan and Mary Ann just sat and listened. Being on the island limited their entertainment options, but they would have found this captivating anyway.

In the morning all seven of went to the other side of the island. Gilligan carried a picnic basket with cups only. They walked slowly, allowing the Howells to keep up.

Although they'd visited the caves there before and found no one, Gilligan went around calling out "Hello! Is anybody here?!" and no one said it was a stupid thing to do. No on answered him anyway.

They'd been in the caves before, but this was the first time they'd really searched. Mrs. Howell found some carved wooden dishes, too eroded to be of use but still recognizable. The skipper found part of a wooden oar with characters carved on it and took it out of the cave into the light to read.

"SS Goldfish. 10/7/1917 +" a set of tally marks (four up and down strokes crossed by a fifth) followed. After markings for 25 days someone had carved "Rescue" and left the oar in a cave.

"So how did they get rescued?" Mary Ann asked, her tone at that moment more wondering then resentful.

The skipper answered. "Probably crews captured after the Goldfish were told where to send rescue and then released."

The professor commented "The raiders fought a relatively humane war, especially compared to the U-boats, whose configuration positioned them to fight a brutal war that brought the odium of other nations upon Germany."

While the Howells waited, the others gathered nuts and fruit from nearby. They filled their cups with water from a stream then sat there and ate lunch, speculating which caves had been lived in and where the paths they used had been. (Since it was just over 50 years ago, everyone understood the jungle would have reclaimed any paths.)

They walked back.

That night at dinner Ginger started coughing and said she thought she was coming down with a cold. Gilligan and Mary Ann said they'd do the dishes and Ginger could just go to bed.

As they did them Gilligan started to feel like a failure. Mary Ann asked "Why the long face, Gilligan."

"Well, I did it again. We wasted most of the day because of something I found, and we finished with no stuff we can use and the only idea of how to get off the island is to have someone know we're here."

Mary Ann smiled. "Gilligan. It was a change in the routine. When you were growing up, did your parents ever take you to the Zoo? When you were in the Navy, did you ever get shore leave?"

When Gilligan nodded she continued. "Today was like that. Did any of the others look sad or disappointed?"

He looked and replied "No. They all seem fine"

"Want me to bake a coconut cream pie tomorrow?"

He licked his lips and nodded.

She said "Okay then."

At times like this Gilligan thought it was fitting that Mary Ann's last name was Summers, because her personality was so warm.

Later it was "Goodnight Skipper." And "Goodnight Gilligan." He drifted off to sleep, his mind full of thoughts of German raiders

May 1917

Fregattenkapitän Gilligan awoke. He did his morning calisthenics, only tripping twice. Then he got dressed in his best uniform. Today was the day his orders would come for U-boat service. He marched around in his uniform loudly bellowing "Deutschland Deutschland Uber Alles." (For some reason that was the only line he could remember from the national anthem.)

When the mail came, there were some bills and a letter from the Navy personnel office. So he opened it. It was from the desk of his old classmate, Skinny Mulliganheim. Excitedly, he read.

"Dear Fregattenkapitän Gilligan.

We regret to inform you that your assignment to U-boat command has been canceled. Apparently they revived your written test and concluded that your submarine would have sunk at least twice. (I had a bet with Hans that you'd sink at least three times. Thanks a lot buddy-you cost me a bottle of schnapps.)

However the auxiliary cruisers have neglected to start giving screening tests. Therefore you have been assigned command of the SMS Raven. Please report to the palace at two this afternoon, the Kaiser wants to see you off personally. Then go to the dockyard and assume command."

At the palace, the Kaiser of all Germany was a small older white haired fellow who wore a suit.

"You're the Kaiser?"

"Yes."

"I thought you were a larger man, with dark hair."

"The fellow with an upturned mustache?"

Gilligan nodded.

The older man explained "My dear boy, he's just the Kaiser for the photos and the portraits. I'm far too busy for that sort of thing, so I hired that fellow. Got him cheap too, as he only has one good arm. Limits his career options."

Gilligan nodded. The Kaiser went on. "America has joined the war against us. I want you to hit them where it will hurt the most."

"You want me to send a raiding party to blow up the Statue of Liberty?"

"Turn it into a symbol of their victimhood and need for revenge? Never! No, my dear boy, I need you to strike their wallets. America is a land of Verdammt Capitalists. Strike them in their pocketbooks. Sink as many Yankee vessels as you can until their rich make the president drop out of the war."

As Gilligan nodded, the Kaiser's charming wife came in and asked "Darling, would you and your dear Fregattenkapitän care for some tea?

The Kaiser turned to her "That would be nice, Lovey my dear."

After a pleasant afternoon, Gilligan went to the dockyard.

Some months later, the Raven was cruising the Pacific, where the Americans didn't expect the war. Gilligan was on the bridge, using the speaking tube to talk to engineering.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you Herr Kaptain. For what do I deserve the honor of your congratulations?" The chief engineer politely replied."

"Solving our fuel problem. Your graph shows our fuel supply increasing daily. Not sure how you did it, but keep up the good work."

"Kaptain, is it within the realm of possibility that you are looking at that graph upside down."

His voice sounded disappointed, even to himself. "Maybe"

"Kaptain, even maintaining a very economical cruising speed our consumption of coal is at a mathematically predictable rate. In a few days our bunkers will be exhausted."

"That's a relief. I was afraid you were going to say we'll run out of coal."

"That too Kaptain."

Gilligan gulped. Then Gunner's mate Summers came in and saluted. So Gilligan went to see what he wanted.

"Smoke on the horizon Herr Kaptain. Lookout thinks a vessel is coming to just north of us."

Gilligan checked the bearings, then ordered "Course 000. Ahead one third"" and watched Sumer's inspect the large gun hidden under the tarp. It seemed ready for action. There was just one tiny problem.

"Good work maintaing the gun Summers. Heck the biggest problem I see is your hair."

"I'm sorry my hair is not up to naval standard Herr Kaptain. Would you like me to have myself put on report?"

"No, Summers it's my fault. I should have checked that we had the regulation supply of barbering scissors on board before we sailed. Even one pair would have solved this problem. Be sure to tie it before we go to battle stations so it doesn't get in your eyes."

Sommers nodded and went below. Gilligan realized he'd once again forgotten to ask Summers what part of Germany he was from. Gilligan had never been able to place the fellow's regional accent, the one that made him sound like a girl.

A few hours later they were able to get near the American ship, as if by chance.

Suddenly Summers dropped the tarp, exposing their artillery piece. While Summers fired a blank shot across the other ships bows, Gilligan pulled down the Dutch flag they'd been using for camouflage and ran up the imperial flag.

The American hastily raised a white flag and slowed down.

Gilligan took a megaphone and bellowed, in English "What Ship?"

On the other vessel's deck, a particularly wide white haired fellow came over with his megaphone "The S. S. Minnow, out of Honolulu."

Soon Gilligan inspected the Yankee vessel. There were two on board, the white haired captain and a glamorous woman with a bad cold. Gilligan questioned each of them in turn.

"You sail this ship by yourself?"

"I had a first mate, but he decided it was his duty to ship on North Atlantic convoys."

"I see. And you Miss." He looked questioning.

Cough cough "Ginger Grant." Cough. "From Hollywood."

"What brings you to the Pacific?"

"Republic pictures is doing location shooting for a shipwreck movie." Cough cough. "When Linda Rockford got sick, they telegraphed for a new leading lady. The skipper here was running me there with the supplies."

"You're sick yourself."

"It's just a cold" cough. "No cameras been made yet that can pick up sound. I'm not going to miss my big break." Cough.

"Actually you may have too."

He ordered them to grab their personal belongings and go below decks on the Raven. The skipper obeyed simply and sadly. Ginger had suitcase after suitcase of wardrobe. Gilligan waited indulgently. Then he remembered to ask "Say, do either of you have any scissors?"

It turned out Ginger was expecting the hair and make-up lady on set to do her up and the skipper had a barber in Honolulu he saw.

Meanwhile Gilligan inspected the capture. Like many ships sailing in 1917, the Minnow was a coal burner, though it also had an auxiliary sail. Luckily it was running a cargo of coal, canned food and even some fresh fruit to the movie set. Gilligan had it all taken aboard.

Then came the unpleasant duty. Gilligan had to open the sea cocks and scuttle the Minnow (this saved the ammunition that they otherwise would have spent blasting it.)

To an investor a ship was money. To non-sailors it was a way of moving goods and people around. But to a sailor, a ship was a home, where one lived for weeks or months at a time. Sailors and ships took care of each other.

Gilligan found he just couldn't do it. It was silly, he knew he'd sunk other American ships while Kaptain of the Raven (although somehow he didn't remember any of them.)

It was his duty to the fatherland. He had to scuttle the Minnow. He took a deep breath and reached for the sea cocks and then froze.

Somehow he was lying in a hammock protesting "But I don't want to scuttle the Minnow."

"What was that Gilligan?" Came a familiar voice.

"I don't want to scuttle the Minnow."

"You're having a bad dream Gilligan. The Minnow is beached on the island and can't be scuttled."

"Oh."

A/N-The SMS Wolf and SMS Seeadler were WWI German raiders that reached the Pacific. Neither got near the location of Gilligan's Island so I made up one that did.


End file.
